I realize you might not care, but I feel like death warmed over, I'm totally exhausted, and I couldn't recap this on time for you last night because I was busy seeing Metric at the Commodore.

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A warm welcome back to me, to you, and to this wonderful show. I missed me. I missed you. And I missed YOU, show.

There's a dinner party at Jan & Michael's, and we're all invited.

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Well, we're back to Palau for the second week of Survivor: Micronesia - Fans vs. Favorites. What's that, you say? You watched the debut last week but didn't see a post about it on here? Well, technical difficulties prevented the recap from being posted.

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This week, things are not so rosy for everybody in Dillon, Texas. Smash Williams is out, possibly for good; the Panthers might become the first high school team in history to win the Texas state championship and then not make the playoffs the next year; and Julie continues to feel abandoned by her mother.

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This week features the multi-talented Tim Riggins in a number of roles, including chef, decorator, punching bag, volleyball assistant coach and getaway driver. Oh, and somehow, he managed to judge the shootout competition at the NHL all-star game too.

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With the departure of Shelly last week, the Taylors have to figure out what to do with Gracie during the day. Tammy struggles with leaving Gracie at daycare, and she makes three attempts to leave her and ends up bringing Gracie to school with her three days in a row.

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We're going to Anchorage! Shades of Season One! I am so excited for this episode that cannot have a horrible outcome. It could have two outcomes that are less awesome than one outcome in particular, but no horrible outcomes. Unless no one wins. Hmm.

And, in all seriousness, I am jealous. I want to go to Alaska quite badly.

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So, my computer is broken. Well, the power cord is. My roommate has been kind enough to lend me the use of hers while I wait for my new power cord to arrive, since she is never home anyway, but hers is not equipped with a PVR like mine is, which means I cannot pause or rewind this episode, which means this is coming to you real-time, stream-of-consciousness.

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Phil wants to know: Will TK & Rachel's ability to stay "cam" under pressure continue to serve them well? Oh Phil, you wily Kiwi and your crazy made-up words.

This week, we're going to Japan. I don't know about you, but I'm excited.

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Happy New Year!

Ohhh, it's the India leg. Strap in, people, it's gonna be some ride.

Teams are instructed to fly to Mumbai. Nic & Gramps, departing at 10:12 p.m., book themselves onto a flight arriving at 10:35 p.m. the next day and head to a hotel for some sleep.

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